Ronin (1998)

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Review by Eric of The Ipc

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So, I have to be honest here, since I am an honest guy and admit that I fudged a little bit when it came to this blogathon and I volunteered to do Ronin. The specs for entry were that it had to be something with DeNiro in it that you’ve never seen before. But I had seen this. I remember the day fondly. I was still working at that fucking restaurant, seven days a week, 16 hours a day, but I finally had a day off for the first time in a month so, I was friends with one of the bartenders there and we decided to hang around and drink beer all morning. Later, when his girlfriend got off work, we all decided to go see Ronin at the theater.

We all took one car and when we got there I was all drunk and starting to get out of the vehicle and they were all “Not yet” and pulled out a doob as big as my finger and we all got stoned. I hadn’t smoked grass in a LONG time so it really knocked me out and I didn’t remember shit about this movie, or the rest of the day for that matter – so I feel like it’s OK for me to put this in.

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I rewatched this the other day for the blog and I think it’s excellent – but I did find a few problems with it – not critical or catastrophic, mind you – just a few nitpicky pieces of shit. Like – why does DeNiro say almost all of his lines twice? I’m sure that wasn’t his thing but it got a little old after awhile…
Give me the map. Give me the map!!

Get out of the car. Get out of the car!!
I need your help. I need your help!!
Hand me the camera. Hand me the camera!!“…

Unbutton my pants. Unbutton my pants!!
Grab Little Bobby. Grab Little Bobby!!

Well, maybe those last two things didn’t happen, but the rest did.

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*SPOILER in this paragraph*

There’s a scene in here where my man Jean Reno gets shot a couple of times and falls down dead in the street. DeNiro chases Jonathan Pryce into an ice skating rink. Pryce shoots him!! Pryce advances. “I’m gonna kill you for the last time, mother fucker.” Says Pryce pointing the gun in his face. BLAM BLAM!!! Pryce goes down dead!!! HOW THE HELL?? Oh, it’s not dead Jean Reno!! He shot Pryce from the rafters. DeNiro and Reno share a lengthy eyeball to eyeball man stare and then Reno collapses (again). I hate that gimmick!

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Other than that, this was a damn good espionage / crime movie. It’s also got a very young, ungrizzled Ned Stark Sean Bean, Stellan Skarsgård who DOESN’T look like he’s been sitting in a room with no windows chain smoking cigarettes for the last decade and hot stuff Natascha McElhone – YUM. This is totally worth a watch if you haven’t seen it… stoned or not.

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29 thoughts on “Ronin (1998)

  1. LOL! “Unbutton my pants… Grab little Bobby” – this will probably stand as the funniest line in the whole Blogathon. Kudos! 😉

    As for the film itself, I wasn’t really that keen on it. Granted, it’s been a long time and I’ll have to revisit it but my memory doesn’t jog anything positive.

  2. It’s a good thing there aren’t any prizes on the line here, otherwise I’d have to call you a big fat cheater and demand your expulsion from this blogathon. And possibly execution by R.O.T.O.R., but that would depend on how good of a prize it was.
    Lol, lucky for you though, there’s only prestige to be had.

  3. Pingback: HALF ASS REVIEWS: THE HANGOVER III | Isaacs Picture Conclusions

  4. Glad to see the high score on this one. Having just seen this recently, I quite enjoyed the film and De Niro’s performance. I thought he had a nice chemistry w/ Jean Reno too. Great review, Eric!

      • Haha! If truth be told, I think I might well have been smoking some of those healthy herbals when I seen this. It would have been around the same time. I wouldn’t put it past me.
        Still didn’t like it, though, and I didn’t inhale.

  5. Ha! I love your reviews. The life stories you throw in there are as entertaining as the actual review of the film. 😉 I barely remember this but remember thinking it was okay – I should watch it again sometime. I wasn’t stoned, though, as I’ve never done that sort of thing because I’m a good girl. 🙂

    • HA HA HA!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

      I’ve never been stoned before either. Oh wait… remember that time I sent you that picture of me bowling with the ball in the gutter. I wasn’t stoned then either.

  6. Thanks for this Eric. Apologies for getting here so slowly. Always a pleasure to have you join one of our projects, and I’m happy you scored this as highly as you did. Best car chase scene ever 🙂

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